Why avocado is the new pumpkin spice


Congratulations world. You’ve done it. You’ve officially out pumpkin-spiced pumpkin spice.

What am I talking about? Why, the avocado show of course!

Don’t believe that avocado has surpassed pumpkin spice in the “beat a dead horse” game? Just take a look at these fine examples:

Avocado Beer

Angel City Brewery in Los Angeles is releasing “Avocado Ale“, a beer brewed with avocados.

Is this appropriate? No! This is obscene! Know what else is obscene?

Avocado Ice Cream

You read that right: avocado ice cream. Ice cream made with avocado. There’s even a recipe for it on Food Network.

This Frankenstein food fad needs to stop!


People are apparently drinking lattes out of avocados.

It was created sarcastically, yet people are still drinking it! Is there no shame? Is there no sanity?!

Sugar Free, Dairy Free, Fun Free Avocado Cookies

This recipe should not exist. Sticking avocado into things that should not have avocado needs to stop.

Avocado Air Freshener

Okay, so this air freshener from American Eagle isn’t actually avocado scented. But seriously: why do you need to hang a picture of an avocado in your car? WHY?!


Avocado shortage

That’s right: there’s an avocado shortage. The price of avocados are at an all-time high. Why? There’s a drought that led to a bad crop, and, oh yeah, everyone has lost their minds and are overusing avocado.

Now, I’m not anti-avocado. I enjoy a good guac like anybody else. What I don’t understand is the obsession (and over-consumption) of this foodstuff. This is putting strain on the crop, and could seriously damage avocado for future generations.

So please, before you rub your avocado lotion on your avocado face, please just take it down a peg. The world will thank you.

2 thoughts on “Why avocado is the new pumpkin spice

  1. Confessings of A Failed Writer says:

    You had me at avocado cookie! Quirky and informative piece. I’m particularly taken up by avocados at the moment as I’m trialing a new low carb high fat diet so thanks for the useful links.


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