It was a long day. I had spent most of it attempting to vacuum water out of my basement.

During my brief break, I had to place some bets for the Kentucky Derby (gotta pay for shopvac somehow).

It just so happens that Kmart is right next to the OTB, so I decided to go in and get a drink.

After wandering for about 10 minutes, I went with the classic Dr. Pepper. I like Dr. Pepper: it has a distinct flavor, and a nice finish.

I paid for my $1.66 sodey-pop in cash, like always.

This is what I was handed:

I measured it with a Walmart ruler because brand loyalty is for chumps

That is a 24.5 inch receipt. For a $1.66, 20 ounce Dr. Pepper.

Trying to aggressively shove the thing in my rain-soaked pocket was a fantastic feat of skill. The train of paper fighting with me every step of the way.

That being said, I’m not complaining.

See, the actual receipt part is fairly short. What makes the receipt so long is the coupons. Am I going to use any of these coupons? Of course I won’t!

I like Kmart, but Kmart is starting to go downhill. You already know what’s going on with its parent company Sears. You also know that I listen to a lot of Kmart Muzak.

I like Kmart. I don’t like it as much as Target, but I like it better than Walmart. I’ve bought some cool stuff from Kmart. They have leg warmers and scrunchies at Kmart. Blue lights are cool!

At the end of the day, I don’t really care how long my receipt is: as long as Kmart has an ice cold Dr. Pepper, I’m good.

-Sheepie ❤